Yesterday was my birthday: 35. There's something about birthdays that make me think about life, my life, life in general...where I've been, where I'm going. I kind of fear the idea of getting old so birthdays aren't my favorite days. In fact, I dread them. They remind me of days gone by, missed opportunities and good times that will never be relived. I have a knack for bringing myself down on my birthday.
But yesterday I didn't do that. It's not that I forced myself not to; I just didn't. I looked forward. Instead of missed opportunities and experiences and good times that will never be relived, I thought more about what's to come. What's on the horizon. Where is this crazy ride called life headed?
34 wasn't the easiest year of my life. It began with me finding myself alone in Madison, alone in an apartment that was supposed to be temporary. It seemed like I spent the first few months answering the question, "Where's Cheri?" And just as I finally become "Mike" instead of "Mike and Cheri" the whole relocation BS happened, which isn't entirely over since my job hasn't ended yet.
But I'm over it. My job is what it is, and my life is headed in a new direction. I no longer feel trapped in Janesville, which is liberating. I have friends and family in Janesville so I still visit, but I never felt like I fit in when I was in Janesville. I feel comfortable in Madison. Madison is my home now, and I feel almost no connection to the city I spent 32 years living in. Kind of strange if you think about it.
My mistake last year was not signing up for IMWI, so I did the Great Floridian instead. It was a good race, and kept me focused on training, but the race didn't go the way I'd hoped. This may sound strange, but I think that was perfect. Had it gone really well, I could've come out of it feeling too confident. Right now, I feel like I have a lot of work to do to reach my goals and coming off a race that didn't go as planned has me very motivated to make sure IMWI 2010 goes as planned.
So I say the hell with 34. It's over. Good riddance.
35....I have no idea where it's going. But after the last 12 months and all the changes and stress I've had to deal with (still am), I figure 35 has to be better. I'm signed up for a race I'm very excited about, and confident that the changes in my life this year are going to be positive (they actually were last year, just not easy to deal with). So although I have no idea where I'm headed, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Life is an adventure. Bring it on.
[For those more accustomed to my pessimism, do not fear, it will return tomorrow]
Since this is typically just a training blog, and I know how much everyone loves to read about my geeked out training sessions, I thought I'd throw in a brief training update: not doing much right now. November is my month to be lazy, eat garbage and get fat and out of shape. I'm doing a spectacular job. Training for IMoo begins Nov. 30.