Taking a break

It's been a long time since I've written a blog post.  Training hasn't been much to write about so I haven't been very motivated to blog. 

IM Louisville was yet another bad race for me, and post race I was dealing with twitchy calf muscles and numbness in my toes.  The twitching is constant, all day, and still continues today. The numbness has finally gone away. It seems to be related to my sciatic nerve, which goes back to my injury in 2014.  

I did some 5Ks last fall until I strained my hamstring (same side as my sciatic issues so possibly related).  I then dialed things back and have been training all winter but my volume has been about half what it typically is and my motivation has been low.  I had some good training days, but they would be followed by increased calf twitchiness reminding me that something isn't right.  I've been to the doctor and the PT and have tried several things and the twitching continues.  It's frustrating and it has me concerned about my long term health.

Last week, my sciatic issues got really bad and I've been in a lot of pain and haven't been able to train.  So I decided that I need to take a break from triathlon.  I need some time off....completely.  I need to heal. 

I've never regained the fitness I had prior to my back injury in 2014, and nearly every race since then has been disappointing and frustrating.  I still enjoy the training and racing and would like to return, but I'm honestly not sure I'll be able to.  My comeback from my back injury in '14 didn't go well and has led to a couple of tough years - physically and emotionally. 

I wouldn't say I'm quitting, although the timing would be right to confirm an old friend's theory that people only do hobbies for 10 years before moving on to a new hobby.  I'd like to rest up and return to running sometime this summer and then do some sprint and olympic tris next year, although since swimming and cycling have been harder on my sciatica than running I'm not sure I'll be able to make a solid return.  We'll see.

To be completely honest....this decision to take a break isn't entirely physical.  Losing my dad to cancer hasn't been easy, and since his death I sometimes find myself questioning if I'm spending too much time training and racing....if I'm missing out on too many things in life. Lately, I find myself daydreaming about taking a backpacking trip...or hiking in Utah...or visiting Italy....or New Zealand...going kayaking...or taking my dad's old fishing boat out to see if it still floats...or sleeping in on a Saturday morning and going to the Farmer's Market with Courtney without worrying about fitting in a long ride...